2007 SEMA Show: That Ain't Right

Vegas is all about extravagance, making it the perfect venue for the SEMA Show. But with that comes the desire to outstyle, outdesign, and simply outdo thousands of other exhibitors. The results are always stunning, but not necessarily in a good way. A few of the questionable creations pictured here deserve credit for the creative thought they represent, and in some cases kudos go out for exceptional build quality. However, even the best craftsmen can only do so much, especially when the core idea, such as a Rolls-Royce front end grafted onto a Hummer, just ain’t right.

by Thom Blackett MyRide Senior Road Test Editor Photo credit: Staff

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Only within the confines of the outrageous SEMA Show do you come across vehicles like this Hummer. The brand has made claims of moving upscale, but this is a bit ridiculous. As you can see from the graphics on the windshield, this is not a Hummer corporate-sponsored project, so don’t head to your local dealer in search of a Rolls-type off-road roller. Still, for those folks out there with an otherwise-perfect H2 sporting a wrecked front end, consider this fodder for your rebuilding plans.

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Breaking news!! Mercedes-Benz and Honda have joined forces to create a new high-end pickup truck! Watch out Cadillac Escalade EXT! At first glance, that’s exactly what we guessed this creation to be – a Mercedes-Benz GL-Class welded to the tail end of a Honda Ridgeline. When asked, let’s just say that the creators were less than pleased with that assumption. Turns out a lot of work went into putting a new grille on a GL, hacking off the body work rear of the B-pillar and creating a pickup bed trimmed with teak wood.

Right. It’s a Mercedes-Benz Ridgeline, dude.

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After clotting our bleeding eyes, we spent a few minutes reluctantly gazing upon this monstrosity to absorb all of its horrid details. It’s not right on so many levels. It’s a Buick…on old Buick…that’s green, subtly named the Donkey Frog, features about 12 feet of ground clearance, and rolls on wheels that would oversized on a Freightliner. The picture here shows last year’s SEMA hit, clear rims, but fitted to the side you can’t see are equally laughable spinners. Get those massive parts rotating at a decent velocity and you just might affect local weather patterns.

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Mix in other flavors or a variety of ingredients and you can transform vanilla ice cream into something that even the most experienced taste tester couldn’t pinpoint. Unfortunately, the same approach doesn’t work for vanilla cars, those rides that sell in mass quantities not because of style but rather practicality. A valiant effort, this Toyota Camry probably represents months of painstaking work, yet even with suicide front doors, a lowrider stance, metal flake paint, and an over-the-top orange interior, you can still taste the vanilla in this four-door sedan, albeit with sour overtones.max

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Old military planes are cool. Muscle cars are cool, especially those created thirty or forty years ago. What’s not cool is a modern muscle car done up to look like an old military plane, especially when the vehicle in question is a Pontiac Trans-Am and the aircraft is a P-51 Mustang. If those big gnarly incisors decorated the front of a Ford, this might make more sense, but either way you wouldn’t catch up cruising in this clipped-winged bird.

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We’re not sure why this one qualifies for a That Ain’t Right award. Spicing up wheelchairs seems like a great idea, but with a leopard paint scheme? At least it’s not authentic leopard skin. But, c’mon, this is SEMA – if you’re gonna take on this project, incorporate some sweet rims, fat rubber, maybe a finely-tuned and chromed-out crate engine, and for crying out loud, where’s the adjustable and ventilated sport seat with massage?

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Mercedes-Benz is usually associated with terms such as luxury, refinement, class, and sophistication. Add on an AMG badge and the list grows to include power, and lots of it. Wrap it all together and you’ve got the ingredients for an amazing package…unless you lose all sense of reason and dip this fine German motoring machine in pink paint. That’s just what happened to this unfortunate E-Class Mercedes housed within the ropes of Dub at the 2007 SEMA Show. Hopefully, there’s someone out there with enough heart, and cash, who can stage a rescue effort for this poor four-door and free it from its undeserved shame.

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Given the image seen here, you can surmise that the ride in question is a sport-utility or crossover vehicle of some sort, though it surely had to be one of the less desirable varieties for someone to feel that the Barbie-pink treatment would serve as an improvement. Nope – it’s a 2008 Porsche Cayenne. The rather bold color is used as accent on the seats, blankets the entire headliner, and even sparkles in the form of studs on the shift knob. The license plate indicates that this violation of all things sacred comes from the garages of West Coast Customs. And they claim to be car lovers…

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Apparently, the sick idea of dolling cars up with the color pink goes beyond Germany. This Scion tC sat loud and proud in the parking lot just outside the halls of the 2007 SEMA Show. There’s been ongoing discussion among vehicle junkies regarding the tC’s possible status as a chic car. Well, this pretty much settles that debate now doesn’t it?

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You’ve heard of urban assault vehicles, but this might be your introduction to the urban safari vehicle. Here’s hoping it’s the last time any of us see this type of creation. Decked out for a day of sneaking up on the homeless and drinking in the scents of city congestion, this hacked-up Scion xB has a front push bar for battling those wild cabbies, multiple spot lights for some nighttime poaching of sewer rats, and aggressive tires and TRD wheels granting you and your hunting party a well-maneuvered getaway when roadragers become incensed with the xB’s rubbernecking pace.