“Nah, dude, just get me one. All I need is one.”
“Are you sure? They’re on the dollar menu, you know, two for a buck.”
“Uh, really? Well, okay then. Get me two.”

The consequences of the high price of gasoline and a thirsty Beast like the Tahoe were stark and real; we were no longer able to stop and eat as much pie as we could handle; instead, we had to resort to the most affordable – and famous – pie in the Land: McDonald’s apple pie turnovers. Good? No. But good enough, and at a buck a piece, neither of us were complaining. Add to it a cup of old coffee and an SUV that was taking money out of our wallets at every mile marker and we were ready to arrive at our first stop. That would be Tempe, but between McDonald’s and Tempe was a stretch of I-10 that would surely rate as among the most boring, sleep-inducing pavement in America. The Tahoe made it worse, with its comfortable leather seats, excellent environmental controls and ample legroom. Only the anxiety of having to tell the wife about the upcoming gas bill kept me alert, along with desperately trying to squeeze every drop of fuel economy out of the Beast.

Ah, Tempe. Springtime home to the Angels, Giants, and one of the biggest party schools in the USA, Arizona State University. Tempe would be the place for me if I were to relive my young adult years. Some say ASU specializes in a beer goggle education, but it’s surely a fine institution of higher learning -- which is why so many hard working young people were drinking so much, clearly as a release after a hard week spent studying advanced topics. That much was obvious on the streets of downtown Tempe, packed as it was with kids lurching from one club to another, dodging vendors and minstrels. One enterprising young lady, undoubtedly a marketing student, was paying her tuition with a creative new spin on panhandling. For a dollar, she’d tell you how her day had gone, and for a “donation,” you could give her a hug. It took only minutes for her to earn enough for the next round -- and she didn’t have to tell a single soul about her day.