02.22.08

Tata Nano + Jaguar XF = JagJag

After moving to California a few years ago, my ex-girlfriend and I were looking for something fun to do one afternoon. She was a fashionable Wellesley grad from the D.C. area whereas I’m a UMaine alumnus fond of L.L. Bean flannel shirts. Still, we found common ground, and on this day it led us to Dave & Buster’s, an establishment at the local outdoor mall that offered food, adult beverages, and a host of arcade games. Off to the side of the main room was a photo booth, but this wasn’t your run-of-the-mill oversized Polaroid. No, we were stepping into a contraption that, after snapping our individual face shots, would provide a picture of our yet-to-be-conceived (or even considered) first-born child.

Yikes. This kid was definitely going to need personality. Lots of it. And smarts. Hopefully intelligence comes from the mother’s side. To her credit, she had the twinkle of my ex’s eyes and some combination of our smiles. But, good golly she was an ugly child.

Thankfully, after much therapy and heavy drinking that little girl was expunged from my memory…until the announcement that the Indian company Tata would be buying Jaguar, the Ford-owned British marque. Immediately, the thought of the world’s most inexpensive new car, the $2,500 Tata Nano, having a one-night stand with the all-new $49,975 Jaguar XF had me reaching for the bottle. Those images of a sly Tata that refused to practice safe driving and a desperate Jaguar that was crying for attention were too much to bear. I had to see what would come from this union, and with assistance from our photography department, this is what we came up with:

It’s not easy to look at, but clearly proves that although opposites may attract, the resulting offspring can be an abomination of nature. Let this be a lesson for us all.

--Thom Blackett
Photo courtesy of Oliver Bentley, Jaguar, and Tata

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