Why buyers, traditionally men, continue to opt for massive trucks, despite rising gas prices and increasingly congested traffic, may seem cut and dried. There is a genuine need for large, capable trucks to haul and tow burdensome loads, clamber over muddy and rock-strewn trails, all while carrying a cabin full of five or six passengers. However, take a gander at the number of such trucks mired in nothing more than the daily commute, and one easily sees that the drivers are headed to their executive offices, sporting their finest silk ties, in four-wheel-drive behemoths that sport nary a speck of dirt on sparking undercarriages and shiny beds completely devoid of even miniscule scratches. Face it, gents – big trucks are cool, and suggesting that they’ll be used for grand family vacations or helping out with that home renovation project are simply excuses. More to the point, what was once only available in the form of a pill or injection, testosterone, now comes packaged in a 6,000-7,500-lb. Dodge Ram Mega Cab pickup. Queen Elizabeth, Pamela Anderson, and even Richard Simmons would look manly driving this thing.

Big trucks have been around for quite some time with names like “Heavy Duty” and “Super Crew” adorning their flanks, but “Mega Cab” takes the cake and imparts an image of dwarfing dimensions. Indeed, that’s just want Dodge’s new full-size pickup does, offering about eight inches of additional rear leg room versus the Ram Quad Cab, incremental gains in shoulder and hip room, a slight nudge in ground clearance, and a three-inch gain in height. For 2006, all Ram trucks ride on a beefier frame, sport a new front end and interior design, and are available in two- and four-wheel-drive with 1500, 2500, or 3500 badges. Each model features a 160.5-inch wheelbase, a bed reaching about six and a half feet in length, and SLT or Laramie nomenclature. The standard engine for the Mega Cab is a 5.7-liter, 16-valve Hemi V8 pushing 345 horsepower at 5,400 rpm and 375 lb.-ft. of torque at 4,200 rpm, with power directed to the wheels by a five-speed automatic transmission. Optional on 2500 and 3500 Mega Cabs is a 5.9-liter, 24-valve, Cummins inline six-cylinder turbocharged diesel mated to a six-speed manual or four-speed automatic transmission. Two-wheel-drive models ride on a short- and long-arm front suspension with a sway bar, while four-wheelers utilize a multi-link setup; all feature a live rear suspension with leaf springs.

With its substantial weight (6,082 pounds for the two-wheel-drive 1500, 7,468 pounds for the four-wheel-drive 3500) the Ram Mega Cab needs some serious stopping power. To that end, each truck features beefy antilock disc brakes aided by electronic brake force distribution. The steering system is a durable, old-school recirculating ball setup. Four-wheel-drive models use a part-time system with self-locking hubs, and 17-inch 265/70 light-truck tires connect the whole package to the pavement…or the dirt. The Mega Cab 3500 can be equipped with six of those Michelins if it has the optional dual rear wheel package. Amazingly, that truck can tow up to 15,900 pounds, while the base 1500 version tugs up to 8,650 pounds. Payloads climb up to 2,930 pounds with the rear-wheel-drive Mega Cab 3500.

Despite the numerous powertrain and drivetrains available with the Dodge Ram Mega Cab, ordering one is easier than you might expect. Get past the issues of 1500, 2500, or 3500 and two- or four-wheel drive, and that just leaves the question of SLT or Laramie trim. The base SLT starts at $32,960, including a $900 destination charge, and delivers steel wheels, a single-disc CD player, split bench cloth seats front and rear, air conditioning, heated mirrors, and the usual assortment of power features. With a base price of $38,055, the rear-wheel-drive 1500 Laramie adds alloy wheels, an Infinity sound system with Sirius satellite radio and a six-disc CD changer, heated and power-adjustable front seats, leather upholstery, faux woodgrain interior trim, adjustable pedals, a power sliding rear window, and privacy glass. Options run the gamut from a limited-slip rear differential, upgraded audio systems, a power sunroof, a rear DVD system, tow mirrors and hitches, side-curtain airbags, Bluetooth connectivity, front bucket seats, and lots more.

That’s still a lot to consider, but we got to avoid all the decision making by getting a truck of Dodge’s choosing delivered to our front door. At $47,125, our four-wheel-drive 1500 Laramie tester was clearly expensive, though that price included Red Crystal Pearl paint ($225); leather bucket seats ($490); tow hooks and a transfer case skid plate ($95); a Trailer Tow Group with an upgraded battery, Class IV hitch, and wiring harness ($335); side-curtain airbags ($490); a 4.10 rear axle ratio instead of the standard 3.73 ($50); a limited-slip rear differential ($285); towing mirrors ($100); the power sunroof ($850); an engine block heater ($90); a navigation system ($1,595); a bedliner ($245); the rear DVD system ($1,200); and that $900 destination charge. Basically, a few essential things and a lot we’d cut for a more reasonable price.

Perhaps the added burden of that optional equipment played a part in our truck’s dismal 11.5 average fuel economy. That’s particularly poor considering that at least 500 of the 1,000+ miles we traveled were on the highway between Orange County and San Diego, with the rest being around town. Curiously, we neglected to test the Dodge Ram Mega Cab on the twisty, cliff-infested roads above Malibu and the tight, torn dirt trails near Lake Elsinore that we usually use for testing. Somehow, it just didn’t beg to be flung from apex to apex or trundled from valley to peak.