To most people, driving out onto the middle of a frozen body of water might seem like the single dumbest thing you can do in an automobile. And yet, there I was, snug behind the wheel of a 2014 Buick Regal GS AWD, sitting dead center over the Ottawa River and plotting my next angle of attack on the icy expanse that lay broad and open before me. You see, not only was I driving a four-door sedan over top of the black water of the Ottawa, but I was in fact planning on sliding across it at 50 miles an hour in a four-wheel drift, electronic nannies switched off and wheels frantically scrambling for purchase on the slick, glass-smooth surface below.
These are the kind of desires – deep, dark desires – that one has when piloting Buick’s latest turbocharged all-wheel drive sport sedan across a privately-maintained ice bridge that might as well be the Wild West in terms of enforceable speed limits or on-road decorum. Quebec’s northwestern corner’s lax attitudes towards on-ice shenanigans had me tapping into the Buick Regal GS AWD’s 259 horsepower and 295 lb-ft of torque at will, sending the car spinning and sliding from one snow-covered shoreline to the other over and over as though a pair of demented Herb Brooks clones stood on either bank with a megaphone shouting ‘Again! Again!’